as you know , i've been changing everything about my life for this year . I change my style , cut my hair short , being more happy than before . It feels like the burden i've carried before is gone . How to say ? Well , last year , you all know that I had a crush on my own bestfriend for 4 years , so all my act and attitude when i'm facing him kind of being control and i can't do what i want to be . But , on a media social , i can talk everything and being wild . i acting like that becausse i just scared that he find i'm too unattractive and treated me as a GUY bestfriend . But now , it changed completely . I can have a crush with a lot of guy , meeting new people , being friends with everyone , be the real me and sometimes , i'm being annoying all the way i wanted to be . hahaha ~
Even sometimes I still miss him , not because I had a feeling towards him but he's the only guy who know everything bout my life . Doesn't matter when I'm twisted , or up or down , he will always being there for me . I'm grateful that I had a friend like that cause I always want to have a guy bestfriend which i can talked about everything about my crush , about guy's opinion , feelings and what type of girl did guys prefer . We used to be chatting until forgot about being hungry or shower . but I don't mind about all of that , cause he always bright up my world .
Now ,we're not at the same class , neither block and we are way too far . I don't always had a chance to see him at all . But the point is , I'm still stuck with his scent and memories along the road we used to take . All of his laugh , and how he seemed to get my intentions all the times . I'd still remember , he always screamed out my name wherever I passed his class . When I slept at class , he would come and tease me infront of his friend . When we were chatting , I always asked him whether he grateful or regret being my friend . And he will said , '' You are the one who should grateful because you're the only girl who I will talk to . There are a lot of girls who always want to get my attention but it's only you . '' . When I'm feeling down because of some other guy . He will said , '' he's not that good as me . You shouldn't like that guy . It's better if you choose me .'' And one last chat for this year when I say I miss him a lot . He replied me and said ,'' Aww , I miss you too . Hrm ''.
Yeah , I still think about those things but I did tried my best to stay away from him . It's hard but I have to move on . Well 4 years being his bestfriend , meant a lot to me . Just , thanks for everything , Shen . I would like our friendship to be like before but I guess both of us need to learn to let go .